“You must confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”
Jim Collins, in Good to Great
We thought it would be over by now.
Working from home. Wearing a mask. The fear of handshakes and hugs. It was only temporary until we could flatten the curve, likely in the summer. But if not by mid-summer, then certainly by the time kids were set to go back to school.
But it’s not over. And we continue to check off as we leave the house: keys, billfold or purse, phone, laptop….and mask, hand sanitizer.
What strategies do we have to address the lingering dread of an indeterminate conclusion to the pandemic? How do we cope with not knowing when things will be back to normal?
This very topic was the subject of discussion recently in an informal networking group comprised of professionals from a variety of workplaces who gather via Zoom every other Friday morning to share ideas and experiences. These conversations have been a bright spot. We have learned from colleagues who work in a wide range of settings: fraternal-sorority, university, accounting firm, symphony, consulting-coaching firm, a marketing organization. Without COVID, we would not have initiated these conversations…and Zoom makes it efficient and convenient.
The Stockdale Approach
One answer that we explored together features Admiral James Stockdale. His approach to being a long term prisoner of war was grounded in a first century crippled-Roman-turned-Stoic-philosopher named Epictetus (pronounced Epic-teet-us). He taught him that a Stoic has separate files in his mind — one file for “things that are within our power” and a second file for “things that are beyond our power.” Including those things that will foster fear and anxiety if we worry incessantly about them.
James Stockdale was a United States aviator in the Vietnam War whose plane was shot down over a small village in North Vietnam. He spent seven years interned in a POW camp. Survival in the camp depended not only on the continued functioning of the prisoners’ bodies, but also (and perhaps more importantly) the resilience of the prisoners’ minds. The prisoners had little control over their bodies. Those decisions belonged to the prison guards. Nor did the prisoners have control over the timeline of their release.
Does that sound familiar? That the ending of the suffering was indeterminate?




